His mother was still hopeful and positive.

“It's good for you, and I made it for you. It's got fresh herbs in it, healthy vegetables, onion, garlic, and lots of love.”

Still trying to find a loophole, the boy replied, “I can't taste the love.”

That’s where I butted in.

“That’s part of growing up, son. You need to learn to taste the love in whatever mum cooks.”

He began thoughtfully tasting what he had earlier rejected.  He had no reason to complain; we live in “culinary heaven” at my place.

Sometimes it’s easy, and other times it’s hard to “taste” the love in our interactions with other people. It is too easy to react with dislike to what someone says or does, without taking a moment to think about their motive.  We must remember that the motive often makes the action ok.

Even in the Bible, we find examples where understanding the motive helps us accept a mistake. The Jews got behind in their work of cleaning up the temple. Due to a staff shortage, they ended up celebrating the Passover a month late, and that without even proper preparation. King Hezekiah’s prayer for them was, “May the good Lord provide atonement for everyone…”  God heard their prayer, and brought healing to the people.  God sensed their genuine intent, winked at their mistake, and accepted their worship.

Sometimes as a spiritual leader, I am asked to help people resolve conflict. I have to gently point out the contribution of each party to the conflict, seeking resolution.

Like a doctor, when I prod a little, I may cause some temporary pain.  But I’m helping, and I’m leading towards a sustainable solution. It gets hard when one whom I’m trying to help ends up questioning my motive and decides not to trust any more. They forget to sense the love.

Next time you’re tempted to rebut, pause for a second, and sense the love. You won’t regret it.

Even open criticism can be someone’s attempt to make things better. We would do better to assume the best of motives, and to check whether there is something useful to take from the comments. We need to sense the love.

I would never slap my wife, except of course when there is a mosquito on her neck.  My motive is noble.  I hope she senses the love.